Chin Pubes

Wednesday, March 1st

00:13:04

On this episode of COWORKERS - Was Tom "assaulted by a concrete dildo"? - Taylor never went "#2" as a kid - and Tara ruined a man's life.

Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

You are listening Digg co workers when John Taylor and Chara they're co workers in they like to talk. So they got their own shot. Hopefully they don't screw this up. So you guys once again your decision not to have children has paid off. I got a phone call the other day from the school. And my five year old son. It's well. Show he is supposed to get up for a class and to the assignment was. If I was president. Polite I don't come. And this is Tom's son. So to calm the force gets up there in front of the kids and says. I would. Blow up China. And kill everyone in it. So he's definitely your son. Oh and like it's so embarrassing is that teachers lake. Comments. Can you come out to the hallway for a second match. Hum we did she hear talk like that. Daddy. I only know little. And as you know I racking my brain here. Wayne was elastomer tire rub blown up China I mean. Don't remember. Saying anything about that I mean just in general my little gruff. But. Actually wiping out entire civilization. Not something I wanna do so did you get this in light note worm when he came home or did you receive a phone call oh my wife told me all about it she's. And is this the same platform that Donald Trump ran on right right. And him. What makes a little worse is that happens the teacher had adopted daughter from China on. Few years ago now. So yeah I mean listen you you have no you can't control them you have there's nothing you can do it he they they just absorb that. Things. Twist them and spit them back out. And there's nothing you can do. You know what I know kids are so Smart. I just I have stories of my nieces Wear adult look me in the eyes and say stuff and I'm like. Oh like why is beyond their years and they pick up things very quickly react so I'm good how you learn old Howell. Lion. And when your kid you always say stuff that you think you know sure you have no idea like even look like it's trying to understand things you don't understand BC adults laughing. They are government kids are laughing I'm ready you have no idea. Trust me my daughter's here she's seven she's doing this thing now where she's like using these big words but she's using them all and that's not I loved the I don't and she's showed wakin enjoyed put her hands earnest like you don't even know your consequences. You don't like to excel why can't. There are men and doctor Hurd to killing all the Chinese are you ready huh. No one by Iowa. We did just tell a teacher looked. The kids say the darnedest thing Paul what was interesting was that day like he had this at the they have these little paper music they bring home when you check these papers and see if presenting. Problem my daughter what do you come Weir's school never once was there anything on the paper license papers fill. And like one's like you know big problems today he decided to crawl along the bathroom stall floor. You know just nonsense is what being an ounce little boy is all about Eric the Sedin now. Right do you think exactly Taylor exact guy laughing off my wife's like. Being referred. You know what your year like he's curious Brett whatever yeah you know it's hilarious when you're your buddies taken a dump and you call I don't know adores surprising at. That's amazing well in my school we didn't have doors because little boys were awful and we would jump and hang in swing on the doors. So they took all the doors now you're kidding I swear my car and my elementary school no doors on stalls and when you tell like the now fourth grade girl you're flirting with. And we don't have doors and ourselves in the act like it's the end of the world and I thought it was normal who ran it it was not normal no vote. What we're still where did you grow up there and it was it was weird I I went through my entire year. School career. Elementary middle school high school with outgoing. Number two low at school. Listen I did say there's a defining moment in my life. Kindergarten. Now may get first grade the first time we ever went to the bathroom has a class. Right. This one kid made the mistake. I'm doing the pan to the girl taken him all the way to I. Like I was true steps away from the girl should take you all the way down right like I had been doing for a first five years in my life. My house hopefully you'll hit now. Johnny was a kid that's ahead also here's Shane go insure you. And I'm like bush is he doing well now let's look they're saying he's got a little burning and out you know just the right way just that he's got a cracked. And I'm like I'm. Okay. Excellent. Save you time. Ever for Diana's Vietnamese schools brutal. At the lowest level it's brutal and that's on. Sleek you know. And I hate talk about my kids like Kathie Lee Gifford here but like one day my daughter brings home this note. And it's to this boy it but she's been talking about for some time. And you know it was like. Dear Max. I'm sorry Audrey stole our marriage. I treat. Right I've read they're going hard Marie. Like you know it makes no sense right in it also makes total sense and like you conceal like you know. Already she's having your little heart broken on some level he is as a pairing to smell like start so wing and. You guys I have a situation in first grade and again real big trouble for it as passing notes and of course at the time. Kids do not know what things are right they know the word count they heard it. I Castaneda to a friend and so that I was gonna have sex with Timmy that day. Yeah well you. As feeling confident again. Back important Meehan the sprawl named marsh remember this very clearly. I got cold like that was gonna go in your I know that's going to be that's kind of volume for the rest you don't like vultures eat and so you know we have these nose back and forth. Well I don't up and I threw an and that. The garbage can't. The teachers he's media obviously she pulls it out reason in front of the entire class and the morning and night. I'm not embarrassed like you know but I thought my stuff around. I don't pretty much does does trigger dare and then like we had to have this meaning it like after school my parents have a common like all the stuff and I remember seeing. The actual report because they get as you know it's all serious they sent home this report your daughter did this to yeah announced oh yeah and I remember just being like. I mean at the time no clue what sex those lake do it sounded right it was in my final. That's probably still you do you file if somebody looked me up I'm sure Georgetown ridge from high school. Middle school you know whatever and it woods' image file on me what about Tammy where Seattle which is still has sex with them. Now you know I. I don't know. I know this crap did you. A lot of cameras blond hair with a pony tail and that was all way down his but well I'll cash a bad boy he is like that boy I think but I don't know like I don't know he didn't know that that wasn't cool. Yeah yeah even involved you know clinical he was just sit there like really. But that doesn't. Jamaica got action aimed at Neiman know exactly tonight I had royal sheltered life growing up for the first. I don't know 510 years my my mother was really strict about everything and then one day she just like turn the Kean just let it fly. You know we would I'd I didn't hear you know music on the radio I didn't hear. For watch movies network scary or dirty or whatever yes and then I go to my aunt's house. And she was just like cheating care. So 11 night we're watching the naked gun which I thought was the funniest thing that ever happened in my life I. And there's a scene where Leslie what's his face Leslie Nielsen is hanging off of off of a statue. On on a building. We just have to be like he's hanging from this big concrete. You know Weiner are right. And it breaks off. Anybody makes way back in the window and then the woman. Accuses him of of assaulting her so anyway I just thought that this combination of words was hilarious so I take it back to school. And I tell the teacher. I I just wanted to say somehow. Put inmates some kind of context and I said you know. A Bobby assaulted me with a concrete Diller. It's okay. But he's a mile concrete. And she's she's like. You're. A huge issue right grab my share usually do you know what I do do this kind of life. No I. Did the offense. Another. Experience. I'm heterosexual. I know. It was six or seven degrade and we had come back from the summer. And I have this really cute teacher and I just I oh dear god you don't fewer than ten meet. Cute aren't Antony yes and I he would come through in my keynote to all the students really liked him because he was cool. And he asked around the the class and whatever you do this summer you know Terrell how's your summer. And like great you know bubble London IC the that you also got two kids. And I said that the know what those. Same things and I don't even know what they are gonna. Not to pick your daughter in the seine in a sense here but it. Lake using words that you really don't know what they are that you you feel cool you feel them you add your like Hamlin you know as you know every that listens on him play. You know I'm better than it kind of looked at me and then I murder rant and I was like it's. Like you know well I can tell you one thing then he came back the next day clean sheet many. Oh my gosh you change that man's wife. You're never again. All I know it up when my brother was in school to when he was younger he was a suspect Jim Carrey. And he in the middle class would cause a ruckus just from doing Jim Carrey impressions. And he would get no after no after note sent home to my parents and dissent he is disrupting class. And so mind my parents decided to have a Jim Carey night eat at home. So it unleashed all of my Brothers like impressions like that was the night to do and he put on a show like once a week. A new Israeli cobalt what was your did you bros in prison now. He asks you if we missed a hell yeah. You know don't. The thing though like when I was a kid. Ace Ventura was like taking over the world yes and I it was in the McDonald's with my buddies one night and I mean you know. The one down the block sixth grade whatever was after school. And I thought it was hilarious to scream holy testicle Tuesday. You know out in the lobby and this dude with his family right next to us he freaked. How my like I remember I can distinctly hear the sound of the same which like hitting the rapper reached for real wit down out of disgust. Is it you don't watch your mouth yeah. Towel every six gray how old are you in sixth grade hot. I don't know Blake Tony I just feel like six screens that age where it. Stops being funny to adults right yeah rank chance at least if your fifth grade and younger it's cute and funny. Pulling your sixth grader it's like. What a pervert we what a sick or your journal animal prints I didn't. Yes she's in for Texas got a couple years before it becomes unfunny yeah I mean she can still send notes the consequence. Joined now Taylor and Sarah as they navigate the murky waters of everyday life. And now in the office. This is uses uses. Co workers.
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