#2 - Shhh. It Happens

Wednesday, April 26th

On this episode of COWORKERS - Tom has diaper pail flashbacks - Taylor would quit his job before he'd crap himself at work - and Tara has had a few "photo finishes" in her day.


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

You're listening Digg co workers would Tom Taylor and Chara they're co workers in they like to talk. So they got their own shot. Hopefully they don't screws up. Embarrassing situations. You know they can pop up at any time. Yes I actually don't have much left in this cold dark part of mine but I was if I really felt for somebody yesterday here in the building. And so you were gone right you're off in Mexico since you you came back this morning to the most. Amazing story. I mean I I want my wife and I said this is the most amazing story ever told you exactly lesson and she's like. Oh boy this ought to be good Mike no brace yourself this is the most amazing story ever told and and she's like well let's hear it. Yesterday at work. Somebody put their pants a tunnel all my guy up as he's like now c'mon I know. Some wind. Pooped. Their pants. There was. A visitor to the building. You know it's a radio station a cluster of radio stations a lot of people are people come and to imagine though if it wasn't a visitor if it was someone. And when I now make. Oh yeah I mean I listened but OK let's get you the reaction is in a second but first let's set the scene. We've got a lot of people coming in Dallas going at all times right yeah whether it's UPS guys who have a so they're could do as a potential there for stink from just about any source. Well. One of the guys runs in here yesterday morning says you're not gonna believe this but such and such. As poop their pants up a and I'm like why. It's like no really. They put their pants and everyone's gagging. But we're just going on like it's not happening. And I'm like. No way. So. I kind of do little live investigation. All right I'll walk out of the room. I take ten steps towards where this person is supposed to be. Get a whiff. And turn right back around. Because it was real. And it was ruthless. We have assessed the situation I mean Tara I IQ. OK I never smelled a smell like this I'm telling him let's bring you Taylor Taylor you can ask Taylor also witnessed this happened Taylor. What were your thoughts when you first caught a whiff. OK so let me first tell quick story a couple of months ago someone brought in seafood. There was a lobster head on and I'm like this little pallets of ice. And I thought it was agreed idea to prank people by taking this dead lobster head and putting it in the aired like desk drawers or. And so I did this to one girl and she said I will I swear I will be back. So I walked in the door again today or yesterday and immediately I was like. Oh Jay not funny duke puts up an entire. Did you know about your day it come yeah dead is very similar to what this mode like like. Just. A bunch of rotten seafood. For me I'm getting sick to my tummy just even thinking about terror smell. It reminded me of like win the diaper pail when I had aborted babies. And when the diaper pail it is like post do it might you grab it in unit the diaper pails or genius devices. Where. They make it where you can wrap it up or least collect the stuff without smelling the diapers anymore is it some how close is an office you open that whatever. But. There's a moment and every diaper pail owner's life. Where you have to face the music this group that's been collecting for a week yourself. You have to tailor the bag so you can you can tie it. He knows this collection of diapers. And there's it's the bag. Becomes basically a musical instrument because it's so they're. And when you compress it move it touch it release said here it comes wall off right in your face he can't he can't help. I was having diaper pail flashbacks with a touch. Of flu. Like. You know when you have the flu year like it's coming out of both bands like that's. I mean. OK so that's what are right that's how nasty at what's. But this person my heart goes out to them yes but. Also I question my heart is not them but also maybe they can borrow my brain okay. You know I thought maybe they were having problems mid segment. Where they're standing in the studio there live on the air they're talking to someone can't leave and then. You know it happens great but. Know. It happened. On the way and an hour before they got here whom they were she apparently stuck in traffic. And it's. Just went I guess but then instead of turning around and saying I'm gonna go and cancel this inner yield. They just decided tab up. Suck it up or not second up I guess it. Let it all out here. Strap on it lets you guys that the show must go on Miller maybe this person is like this is my chance I gotta get Iran. This is once I kind of throwing the oncoming traffic before I would've. And then I would've made the excuse. I hit my car driving record that does not have. Don't you will about the phone and and you know the minute you're like oh now. I've put myself she can't likely you will also found and you say essentially you know ten minutes late. I'm sick I'm sorry Kenny tonight coming tomorrow. That's what you do but you know what you know I know that now after fifteen years of being you know nothing in this business a but like. You know when years starting out in your younger senior eager. You know all you can think of is like this is a catastrophe I'm going to lose out on a spot I gotta be there. So I mean I can say I feel for this person but might do law argue. Now bad choice. So only hints I'm assuming that. They'll load. And it I don't know how this person was able to get back into their car. If that extension was more powerful in their car where it had originally happened. I don't know that car would have blown up it not only kidding I mean do you guys even have any Sheen. As far as like an embarrassing moment I mean anything close to that and I really do. I had really good bowel control. Over MI 36 years on this planet MM I'm actually really good at a picnic picnic I've read. You know just as far as like there's never listen I know and it's going to be air or know what it's gonna be solid okay. And there's no surprise in his most switching you may shift like I know what to I know exactly what's going on back. I mean look there have been a few photo finishes in my and so. I. Why would I wanted to burn the soiled I mean I. Never I don't think. They are Smart people. Yeah I mean you know I feel like. It probably. Going to be down in his car to an end. I mean did she know I would quit this job. You're stuck I would quit this job before you come and I mean crap McNair the devastation like Jimmy out of whose hours like. You know two hours after they were gone and I went out to the elevators in Vera was wafting alive and kicking and I don't think we've addressed one of the most important facts about this no one wouldn't really know that this person crap themselves. If this person hadn't holed. Other people in this building that big crap themselves well I think icon doesn't think though like. Date it smelled so bad. That something was obviously wrong. It was like I know that elephant and her. Check out there rotting and elephant carcass. In your room my god so this person actually was like black like if they. Give you that. I don't know. I don't know I would not I'd I'd keen even. I would rather jump off a building. Hit eight as I can think of a lot of terrible things I'd be willing to do's and come in. And I mentioned that smelled was me right I can't even imagine and so they're really can't. You know the thing is like she hit it it was a wake of disaster like. For hours. Everyone buildings is buzzing about it and talking about it he had. It was the topic of conversation for ours and it. Hurt. And it was I'm surprised he didn't hear when your on your flight that ended at Alex this is in it and it's everybody's tired there's all still on the and that mindset too because I just walk through there and type who myself. And I got this huge allowed. I don't like another week on right exactly sir so yeah I mean listen. Work sucks but every once in awhile. Something happens it brings you together if you don't have sex so much that European Cup and Kyle and climb the highest. Yourself and your belts with. I was actually telling the story to someone yesterday as I felt the urge to go to the bathroom really. Yeah and I immediately was like sorry I got in this area I cannot let this happen to me and I just took off his book. Agreed later remembered don't hold it rate rise you know him or maybe try and hold it. And so since. You know I don't is that when I was a kid I feel like I'd like to hold it I don't know why. I mean I really hold it in or the actual. And Terrell. Okay. Heidi. This is already had terrible. Confession. But you're making it worse sorry to my opinion. For some reads like I'd I didn't I don't know what it was backfield that was cheating the system. If I have completed. My mission that I mean it was like what's that you'll need to stop playing right now I don't think so. I earth. Like you know I'm Gifford has secured three more hours than I got in trouble. And eventually had to go to the doctor in the hospital which is a suburb my appendix burst but no I was just really backed up. I just ridiculous. But I'll listen I guess the the moral of today's group gases. A group when you're supposed to or don't group when you're not supposed to. And so I a diaper pail crayon. Irene I'm searching my in my memory for something that could be. Considered even remotely as embarrassing because you know I've that's the emotional kick for me is like. All that person must feel really really small right now and you know he just winner ot I wanted to reach out and you know. Hug them and say listen it's going to be okay Sunnis you change your pants. Hot air really wanna I don't. That's it there's a lot of things that I've done that have been embarrassing but I have to almost go back to like. Elementary school to find something that's this embarrassing just like. Crack yourself appear self yeah type embarrassment. It's just doesn't happen as a 28 year old or whatever I am now but is you know me if Phishing IQ we sort of come into the world. Keen crapping yourself and then we'll go out to him wrapping herself like. No misled him back to being a little baby at some point some people do circle of life it really did I mean that's that's there dignitary that's what it's all about. That's on my take away from this incident. I mean I don't have an embarrassing moment like for myself to share but I do remember going to a concert with a friend and she had passed gas. It was like. Hi John yeah I got it right there. I got my. Top kill high as soon so he. Didn't like. Recover from that it I laughed about it and it you know you can see another that's another thing yeah I keep it and like I I've I will not. It's usually crowded place I will not others I'll suffer. And suffer and hold my pain. Because I didn't know just track ever to hold and things explode finally everything. Until one day hello yeah. I mean because it's so it's embarrassing and so disgusting. It's just root yeah. It really is it's gross but it's human it is very human. And that's what I hate about how reminds me that you know. In the end. You know here we are just this mass of these this animal a stick creatures that are straying. We're all eating. You were all producing. In world you know we we just don't Halloween now it's so gross and disgusting we really are in now. Here's how I faking here's how I get around the fact that like. That humanity has a hold disgust me. I I I go off by myself. And I almost pretend like I'm the only warning. Again you know whether that's an elegant do but they caught vacation. They call the woods they call you know week away the lake that you go somewhere where there aren't other humans who were eating and whooping. And you enjoy the fact you're the only one eating improving. Right you're saying yeah I report parties is a terrible isn't real you realize once again you're just another person who's eating appropriate. I. Know you've thought about this way more than I would have imagined. What it just mean it it give bothers me and there was a point in my life where I had two jobs and it was really busy. And it occurred to me one day the pointless news of urination like I understand there has to happen. But why can't I release the same toxins. Out of my butt that I ever released in my. It's just the dirty show remember them by far Pollyanna it is and it it gets to be done it's probably the most entertaining but I didn't so like why why I tipped to have this extra step. Of standing in the tunnel for like two minutes or a minute or however long it takes. For part time today it's such a massive waste of time. Why can't we just bundle all the garbage. Out the one garbage Tampa. And did at 8 AM to get an odd. Or or hang onto it until you're ready to go later on in the day whatever you do. Why this double trouble you know what why this like two different ways to use the bathroom. I've thought. It's it but at least we get to stand up women like I was a lot of our you know I don't stand. Our I sit down oh I should Donna. I don't sit around. I shouldn't named. The same person who put their pants. But sitting down to PR. Eight it stems from like how I was younger. Mean my cousin my grandmother. I grossing in the kitchen cousin goes to that the bathroom which is like just off the kitchen and she's like cooking something and if you like. You hear this out he left the door open and you hear the sounds sounds like some might like shooting the fire house into a pond. Right every kid's face. Rush of water. And she's like here that a bush in like a man. And I'm like she's judging my stream. And not nearly a freeze the Mike what. In light of who my my my brace Joyce calculations. Is my wish dream. He can off it was vice. MIP seem manly and Mike. That's yet here's what I'll do I'll cheat the system I'll sit down and he gives the toilet nodal every year BP ever ever just nice hot. So that's where it started and I just realizing it is just much more calm just like to sit down and PC a fight did that I would be playing candy crush a four times more than I shut. Well your cell phones back then the only thing you got to do was like. May be reached over and open up the cabinet under the scene can like red like does the snowball ingredients. Like that's the best the entertainment you had back then now I know mr. candy treasured. You're always on the John you're always so. A leveling up or not. But he's back AP like less of a man yeah that I mean I mean no listen I. If vitamin or her area of uneasy journal but boy you know what at a sporting event or were. Other events that I go to were there other people there want someone. There's a line. At the Euro almost a line at at the stall like I'm the guy he will wait for the stalled two. Real oh yes I can't stand that. There's definitely times where I'm standing at the year and on a Mike oh crap there's someone and there's someone sitting in the stall and they know I'm in there. And they're not hearing anything because I'm nervous. And I am not seeing so then I just wonder should I start making sound effects. So if say it like I think it's. It's really weird that your annals are like that they happen because can you even imagine walking into the women's. And just seeing the backs of all the ladies as relying. Team on a toilet like edge and there's not. It's how I'm the first one to say you'll is transgender bathroom that all of us argument also. On the person say give me single bathroom with a lock on the door let me go in there that way can scratch myself. Maybe I fart merely idea whatever I need to do that and holding out from other people you know. That's what that's running out there yeah I just wanted to lock the door in the infuriated my own silencing. You know my own privacy privacy thank you can't yeah. Yeah. I'm Taylor and Sarah as they navigate the murky waters of everyday life. And now in the office. This is uses. Color.